; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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