need another drink. this is the easiest way
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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