I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sober January is a disaster.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize