dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
