I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
