I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
