Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
