you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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