I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Found the puke drawer
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Randomize
