I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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