Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
