i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
