This girl is more easily done than said...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
