I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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