Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
