was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sext me about skeletons
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
