she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
