Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
