Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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