You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
