I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize