i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
