I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
