Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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