I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
