you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
