hotel room ftw
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
