vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We left an ass print on the piano.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
