She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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