the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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