Me. At least after what I've been through.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
