I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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