Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
