all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just high enough for therapy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
