If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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