I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
