She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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