If i come over, it means nothing
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
