you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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