He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i drank out of a bidet.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
