Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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