How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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