Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
