There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I am available for nakedness
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
