I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize