i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
