i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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