im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
