i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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