Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
