idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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