Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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