so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Boobs speak an international language.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
