so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
