I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
