i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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