Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
