see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
