I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
