im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
