Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
