What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
