just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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